Boys and babies

I've been watching kids for the last few weeks, to help out people and make a little bit of money. It has been a good learning experience for me and a good test of my patience. What I have come to learn is how much i love my kids.

Justin has such a sweet side to him. It is hard to always get out, but the way he just hangs out with me, and shows me his favorite things ("cars"--which he can spot lightning mcqueen ANYWHERE!!, Peter Pan or Signing Time, which is the cutest when he lays in bed just signing it. How can you say no!! It's a great show...) I am grateful for Justin's help and even though he is only 2, He does so much for me. He listens well (he has those off moments, too) and is a very good big brother. He has to "see" everything I do in the kitchen and help make everything. He helps get things out and just says "k" (smacks the lips after). I love him so much.

James is going to make an amazing dad one day. He has so much patience for children. sometimes it is tested by Justin, but James takes a breather and just helps him out. He adores Kyle and loves to rock him and put him to sleep. He has always done a great job, exchanging homes every weekend. he takes everything in stride and is very obedient. I know i am extremely blessed to have such a great relationship with him. Sometimes, I am probably too hard on him and set too high of expectations, but I am glad we can talk and discuss issues and reasons why we do what we do as parents. He has some great friends here in the ward whom I am hoping (and counting on) to continue to be good examples for him. He deserves to have a great life and I hope he does what he needs to, to achieve it.

And then there is Kyle. I don't remember loving this stage with Justin as much as I do with Kyle. Maybe it is because I have forgotten the time with Justin, but Kyle is just so much fun. He has the sweetest smile that lights up his entire face. His eyes just seem to glow when he smiles. Last night, he had sort of fallen into a drunken stupor with his eyes half shut after he was done eating. he was trying to fall asleep and then just looked at me and gave me the goofiest grin. I couldn't help but laugh at him. It was the best thank you I could have received.



I guess I am writing this because Kevin and I have decided I would go back to work for a short period of time to help us out of our situation. Especially after last night with Kyle, I have realized how much more I am going to miss these kids then when it was just having Justin in daycare. I have a great lady who watches the kids (Justin bawls and cries when we l eave the daycare). She is just watching my two kids and has a 3 year old. We have a lot of the same views on raising kids, so that is comforting, and it makes me feel a bit better about having to leave them. I guess it hit me even more because I have my first interview on Friday and it is becoming more real. I know there is an end in sight of me working, and I know sacrifices have to be made. I am just a sad mommy. so...sorry about my bragging post and a little bit of "poor me", post. I just wanted my kids to know I love them.